How to Open the Vault of Anyone’s Mind
You ever been to a networking event trying to engage a prospect event and when that person takes their eyeglasses off and sets them on the table?
Do you realize what that means?
How about when you are at a listing appointment and the seller leans forward and puts his chin in his hand?
Do you know what that means?
Ever see a master locksmith at work? It looks like magic, doesn’t it? He plays with the lock, listens, hears things you don’t see, feels things you don’t feel. And opens the lock. Effortlessly.
Master communicators are the same way. They see things, hear things, feel things that helps them unlock the combination to anyone’s mind. And if you do that elegantly and attentively, you can do the same.
According to NLP techniques like I’ve discussed in the past, body language, eye movement and voice tonality give us cues about people’s thoughts, mental strategies and desires.
Did you know visual people speak in quick bursts, usually high-pitched, nasal or strained. Did you know feelers speak in low, deep and slow speech? Did you know an even, clear speaker is someone who responds to audio clues?
Auditory people tend to respond to you when you speak slowly, more rhythmic and measured. Words mean a lot to them. They respond to things like “That sounds right to me” or ” I can hear what you’re saying” or “Everything clicks.”
Visual people see the world in pictures. And because they are trying to keep up with the pictures in their mind, they speak rapidly. They don’t care how they get it out. They appreciate visual metaphors. Explanations on how things look to a person, patterns and whether something looks bright or dark.
A person who feels, or is kinesthetic, tend to speak even slower than audio people. They respond to voices that are deep. They appreciate hearing metaphors like “grasping for something concrete.” Things are “heavy” and “intense” and they need to “get in touch” with things. They say things like ” I’m reaching for an answer, but I haven’t got a hold of it yet.”
Body language also gives us clues about a person.
When a person breathes high in their chest, their visual. Even breathing in the whole chest, audio. Deep breathing low in the stomach means they are feelers, kinesthetic.
You can also read skin tone and head position.
Visual thinkers tend to have paler faces. A flushed face indicates a feeler. When someone’s head is up, they are thinking visually. If it is cocked or balanced, he’s audio. If the head is down or relaxed, he’s a feeler.
Eye movement is another indicator of how a person thinks.
Someone looking down and to the right is typically a feeler. Audio people tend to look straight to the right with half a smile or to the left with a full smile or down to the left with a frown. Visual’s do it a little bit differently. They may look directly at you and smile, eyes wide. Or up to the left with a smirk.
When speaking to a prospect, observe their voices, their pacing, their tonality, skin color, head position and eye movement. Use the technique of complimenting or grab and pass to break the ice. Then ask general, open-ended questions to get them to talk about themselves.
If you can get them to talk about themselves, you will have no problem figuring out whether they are audio, visual or kinesthetic. And when you figure this out, start to respond in like manner. If you do this, people will start to like you and open up even further and your next step (getting permission to give them something of value) is an easy step away.
So even with minimal communication you can get a clear unmistakable cue about how a person’s mind works and what sort of messages he uses and, most importantly, responds to.[By the way: when someone takes off their eyeglasses and sets them on the table means they have stopped listening to you. You need to stop and listen to them to find out what you need to do to get them back on track. But if someone leans forward and puts their chin in their palm means they want to hear more.]
I know this may be a lot to process, but take it one step at a time and practice. And let me know if these things work for you. Or if you have something else I missed. I’m always very interested in hearing from you.
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