The Science of the Giving and Receiving Compliments

Part of Real Estate Training Series on Persuasion

If you think about it, flattery is the grease that makes the social wheels glide. Now, I’m not talking about brown-nosing, but giving sincere compliments. Do that and you will generate such positive energy with other people that real estate deals will close like magic.

See, they make the relationship between two people a relationship built around trust and kindness. But like I said above, there is a way you have to do it. Plus, there is a way to receive them.

When to Give a Compliment

Might seem pretty obvious but you give a compliment when you notice an effort or situation that deserves a compliment, which makes them a way to show people that you are paying attention to them.

If you think about it, we need to cultivate this identification of good things happening around us.

Once you notice something that is worth a compliment, say it. Say it out loud…and make it clear to who you are complimenting and about what you are complimenting them about.

Whether your client or co-worker, people get a lot of value from a compliment. The value comes from them knowing that we are noticing them. And you can get a lot of mileage out of a compliment since people tend to feed off of compliments.

Personally, giving compliments will also help lift our mood as the positive energy returns to us from a person who is feeling good about themselves because you complimented them.

Insincere Flattery

These are powerful gifts that you give freely that tell a person he is special and you care about them. However, they only work if you are sincere about them. Nothing can put off a person more than a fake compliment. In fact, they’ll backfire if you do that.

All you have to do to use this social skill is be honest. Tell people what you think. If you see someone wearing a jacket you like…tell them. If you see someone driving a car you admire…tell them.

It’s really that simple. And the returns are huge.

They do a great job of elevating the atmosphere of good, positive energy. Compliments are also a great way to open up a conversation…and a spectacular way to end one.

How to Respond to a Compliment

There is also an appropriate way to respond to a compliment…which is to say “Thank you.” Instead, too many people tend to brush it off with a “Oh, that was nothing. Slapped that thing together in 5 minutes.”

Or, “Well, I feel about 15 pounds heavier today.”

There is only one good way to receive a compliment and that is to smile and say thank you. Don’t deflate the person giving the compliment…which can make things very awkward. No matter how difficult it is for you to receive a compliment, don’t deflate someone’s judgement by brushing it off.

Leave a comment if this post was helpful or if you have anything you’d like to add. And if you like what you read, subscribe to the Real Estate Marketing Blog.

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