10 Things You Don’t Want Homeowners to Say to You

With the housing market not expected to bottom out until mid-2010, you could probably use a little jolt of laughter to shake the blues that’s plaguing us in this distressed economy.

And after you read this top-ten list, why not share one of your own frigthening comments you’ve heard homesellers make.

1. “This House Pretty Much Survived the Explosion.”

Yes, houses do blow up. Some by gas. Some by fires. Others by meth labs. It’s that last one that should raise a red flag.

2. “The Neighbor Was Released from Prison Yesterday”

Your response to this question should be, “Oh, so…what did he do?” Even if it runs along the gamut of white-collar crime [you know, embezzlement or extortion or tax evasion], nobody wants to live next door to a criminal. Be careful.

3. “Cars Only Drive Fast Down This Road in the Evening”

The operative word, of course, is ONLY. The rest of the time the road is mild. Perhaps there’s the rare Monte Carlo that zips down the road and doesn’t make the turn and ends up in your yard…but no worries. That ONLY happens once a year.

4. “Those Homeowners Back There Just Sold to a Guy Who’s Going to Build Some Apartments”

Hear that sound? It’s the sound of property values dropping. Fast. Run. For. Your. Life.

5. “The Basement Gets Damp When It Rains”

Translated: “Water levels reach about to my knees when it rains…but it’s all gone within a day or two.”

6.  “I Think Somebody Died in the Bathroom”

Drug overdose? Murder? Natural death? Help me here. HOW they died is just as important as THAT they died. Though the creepy factor still remains.

7. “My Husband Got Busted Growing Pot in That Room”

The follow up statement from the homeowner might resemble a fumbling recovery, something like, “My eyes. My eyes. I have really bad cataracts. The marijuana helped me…not that I smoke it any more.”

8. “Michael Jackson Was Born Here”

Or, insert any famous, historical person. If that’s the case, you’re likely to get a lot of unwelcomed visitors pausing in front of the house to take pictures or snooping in the backyard or peeping through a window. At least that’s what a potential buyer is probably thinking.

9. “You’ll Be Close to the Airport”

Wonderful, if you’re a commercial pilot. Everyone else, welcome to Camp Insomnia.

10. “Sure, The House Is Settling a Little”

Will it settle more? Maybe. Maybe not. Are you certain about everything in life? Have a little fun. Live large. Take life by the horns. Seize the day. Live over abandoned mine shafts. Besides, it’s a great topic for cocktail conversations.

So, got any juicy zingers home sellers floated your way? Please, share. And if you haven’t already, check out R. U. Darby’s gold mine story. And see what it means to you and your real estate career.

And if you like what you read, subscribe to the real estate marketing blog.

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Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 4 comments
Matthew Kettlewell

or how about that “noise” that happens to be a train that only goes by at 2 in the morning…

or that “smell” that is being too close to a dairy farm, but only for half the year…

or the room without a key… because ancestors from 100’s of years ago still live there.

or the mysterious foot prints in the backyard from a hobo that’s claimed the doghouse…

Great post… keep em coming.

Gary Elwood

Thanks Matthew!

Ralph D Bredahl

Good tongue in cheek post. O course not so funny when it happens

Shellie Anne

I had to send this to a bunch of innkeepers as this is nearly perfect for 10 things you don’t want to hear your innkeeper say! Oh but we have some doosies to add to it, oh yeah. 🙂


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