Get What You Want: 4 Steps

Do you know what these five things have in common? Houses. Marriage. Cars. Flights. Raises.

They all involve two or more people. They all require an exchange of some sort. And they all involve negotiations.

Being successful in negotiations is all about getting what you want. The car, the raise, the girl. But this isn’t all about ruthless selfishness. No. Successful negotiation involves something deeper.

Here are the steps you need to take to get there.

Step #1 – Build rapport with your partner

Because there is always someone else on the other side of the table when it comes to negotiations, that person needs to like you. They need to trust you if you want to walk away with what you want.

How do you get someone to trust you? Here are some tips:

  • Mirror body language. Is your partner leaning back in his chair with his hands folded? Do the same. Is your partner standing with his hands on his hips? Do the same. Is he drinking coffee? Do the same.
  • Look into his eyes. Shady and insecure people avoid eye contact. They stare at the ceiling, the wall or out the window, but rarely look at their partner. This will rob you of trust with that person. Who wants to deal with someone they can’t trust? If you are insecure, then they may try to take advantage of you.
  • Mimic the voice. Is your partner soft spoken? Then lower your voice. Is he a fast talker? Then speed up your cadence. Does he avoid foul language? Do the same. Match speed, tone and flavor to make your partner like you.

Know Both Position and Interest of Other Party

Knowing your partner’s position is one thing. Knowing their interests takes the game to a whole new level. Let me explain.

Position trades in the mechanics of a negotiation: “I need a house. I only have $90,000 to spend.” Interest trades in the why: “I just re-located for a job in an economically depressed region of the United States. I have eight children and my wife has cancer.

You, as a real estate agent, are no longer trying to help them buy a house. You are trying to help them make life easier for this struggling family.

Take the time to understand both the position and interests of your clients and you can get what you want.

Get on the Same Page

Failing to reach a satisfying conclusion often occurs because two people are not on the same page. One is thinking about moving into the house right now while the other is crunching monthly mortgage payments and calculating annual taxes.

These two people will not come to a satisfactory conclusion unless they both get on the same page.

If you find yourself in this situation, seek to help that person on their level. Suggest that you will help them think through the numbers, and when you are both satisfied, then you both will talk about moving in.

Overcome Objections with Conditions

Even after all that hard work your partner may still resist closing the deal. One or two red flags still nag at them. You have to alleviate their concerns with a condition.

Fore instance, if your client is holding off on an ideal home (and you’ve already looked at eleven) because of concerns about radon treatment, instead of losing the deal, suggest something like this: “If we can convince them to pay for the radon test and installation, will you put in an offer right now?”


Negotiations are really not that hard. In fact, developing a relentless curiosity on the other person’s needs will actually make the negotiations fun. It’s sort of like figuring out a complex puzzle.

Leave a comment if this post was helpful or if you have anything you’d like to add. And if you like what you read, subscribe to the Real Estate Marketing Blog.

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